


You See The Hat?!

by Onyxim



Category: DCU (Animated), Justice League & Justice League Unlimited (Cartoons)
Genre: Humor, I'm Sorry, M/M, Movie Reference, Toy Story - Freeform, Toy Story References, omfg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-23 13:42:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4879039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onyxim/pseuds/Onyxim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After searching for hours, Bruce finally finds Clark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You See The Hat?!

Batman burst through the doors, frantically scanning with his eyes for his colleague, who had gone missing over six hours ago, and the ship they were on was about to explode. The only evidence that he had of Clark's presence was his discarded cape, which he held for dear life.

Bruce glanced around the room and his eyes landed on Clark, who was dressing in a full maid's outfit, complete with the tiny white hat and apron. He was slumped against a table with two giant. . .dolls, was the only way to describe them. Their heads were missing but they seemed to be communicating with each other and holding tea cups.

"Clark?" he hissed to the unconscious figure. "Clark? Are you okay?"

"GONE!" Clark's head suddenly shot up. Batman allowed himself to jump. "It's all gone," he moaned. "All of it's gone. Bye-bye. Whoo-whoo. See ya." Clark's cheeks were flushed, breath smelling bitter of. . . alcohol?

"What the hell happened to you?" Batman said, utterly confused. I mean, what could explain finding The Man of Steel passed out from intoxication with two naked, headless women?! "What's all gone?"

"One minute, you're defending the _whole galaxy_. . ." he began drunkenly, "and SUDDENLY"--he slapped his palms on the table and peered into his tea cup--"you're suckin' down Darjeeling with. . ." he stared at the two headless women across the table, ". . .Marie Antoinette and her little sister," he whispered, and gave a haunting laugh. 

Bruce blinked at him. Carefully pried the tea cup from Clark's hands. "I. . .think you've had enough tea for today, Clark."

"DON'T YOU _GET IT?"_ Clark suddenly yelled, pulling Bruce close to him, pointing at the little white hat on his head. "YOU SEE THE HAT? I am Mrs. Nesbitt!" The he started howling like a maniac, twitching.

Patience tried, Bruce growled, "Snap out of it, Clark!" and slapped him.

Clark's face went from one of the Joker's to all seriousness. He blushed, looking ashamed as he looked away from Bruce. "I-I-I'm---I'm sorry, I--- You're right." He numbly took his cape out of Bruce's hands and started walking out of the room. "I am just a little depressed, that's all. I-- I-I can get through this."

Nodding, Bruce followed him out of the room. But he groaned when Clark collapsed to his knees, crying, "Oh, I'm a _sham!"_

"Quiet!" Bruce hissed, knowing the aliens would heear them.

"Look at me," he said, gesturing at himself and his maid costume. "Can't even fly out of the window!" he said, long-suffering and sad.

"Window?" Bruce murmured, thinking.

"But the hat looks good? Tell me the hat looks good," Clark rambled. "The apron is a bit much. . ."

A metaphorical lightbulb dinging above Bruce's head, he instantly thought of the escape pods on the other side of the ship. "Window! Clark, you're a _genius!"_

He grabbed Clark's arm and started dragging him along.

"Years of academy training wasted!" Clark cried.


End file.
